America is Devolving and Civility is Dying

Photo: Rebecca Florence Miller 

Over the last decade I've become just as troubled by the way our country handles controversy as the controversies themselves. I don't know if this means I'm maturing or getting "soft". The pleas we hear for unity are drown out by the noise of hostility.

People are looking at each other with malice in their hearts and distrust in their eyes. It saddens me to see us devolving. I read social media posts everyday from people who are actively rooting for the further unraveling of our social fabric. There are people preparing for an actual war. Ironically, many of the people pushing for a new "Civil War" are the same ones who found themselves on the losing end of the cultural and ideological wars. 

America changed. America is changing. America will continue to change. The train of history doesn't have a pause button. The future doesn't care if we are prepared for it or afraid of it. We are never going back. This reality is triggering for some.

Much of the pushback against diversity and social justice movements I've studied is rooted in fear and anger, but more fear than anger. 

Fear and anger, from a neurological perspective, are very similar. Someone afraid of you will hurt you just as quickly as someone who hates you. A lot of people spreading hatred do so out of a lack of understanding. It's easier to hate someone than address the preconceived notions and prejudices inside ourselves. Hatred in the heart and mind has a way of manifesting itself in the real world. 

We have regressed as a society and the causes are many. Truth has become our enemy and comfort is too often found in narratives that fit our world view. We use to have utopian dreams of everyone loving each other, now we should push for just tolerating each other. 

Impeachment Means Nothing!

For the better part of four years rational conversations about politics have been almost impossible. Part of the problem is the deep distrust and dislike large swaths of America have for each other. The other big problem is our collective inability to agree on a set of facts. We can't agree on anything.

I've written over fifty articles about Donald Trump. They've been published in newspapers, magazines and a variety of online publications. With that said, I've read and written more about him than I've ever wanted to. This has been exhausting. There was a period of three months where I stopped writing about politics.

I admit that I find him to be loathsome. I despise him. He's a habitual liar. He's one of the most disrespectful and arrogant people I've ever covered. I dislike him. I can't believe someone so disloyal and vindictive continues to be the recipient of all the forgiveness and protection bestowed on him.

Donald Trump has been forgiven for saying and doing things no person of color could ever get away with. Many of the same white Evangelicals who never forgave Barack Obama for wearing a tan suit or having black skin have forgiven Donald Trump for blatant racism, sexism and xenophobia. 

Donald Trump has been credibly accused of sexual harrassment and assault by almost two dozen women: forgiven. He has admitted to grabbing women by the pu$$y: forgiven. Donald Trump admitted to paying off an adult actress he was having an affair with while his wife was pregnant: forgiven. He was recently held culpable by a court for defrauding charitable donations for kids with cancer: forgiven. Donald Trump has trashed John McCain and John Dingell: forgiven. 

He was right when he said he could shoot someone on 5th Avenue and get away with it. There are people who could watch him put a baby in a microwave and ask what did the baby do first? 

Impeachment won't move the needle. There isn't anything Donald Trump could say or do that will turn his base against him. Half the country is celebrating while the other half is plotting revenge. The Senate will acquit him. This had to be done, but it does nothing.

A Practical Response To Sanctuary Counties

In the last few weeks I’ve seen numerous social media posts soliciting online support for the creation of 2nd Amendment sanctuary counties. Many of these posts are shared out of sincere concern over potential restrictions to the right to bear arms. Some are purely partisan vitriol. Either way, this is another issue in which well intentioned people end up screaming past each other.

For the record, I support the right to bear arms; as Malcolm X once said, “A man with a rifle or a club can only be stopped by a person who defends himself with a rifle or a club. That's equality.”

However, I part ways with the idea of creating 2nd Amendment sanctuary counties. This isn’t personal and I don’t think people who support these petitions are bad. I have practical reasons for my opposition.

First, the Second Amendment already has limitations that have been codified into law. Fully automatic weapons haven’t been available in this country for over 30 years. We should move forward with this fact squarely in our minds. Any debate about future limitations should be rooted in the fact that the door to limitations has been open since the 1934 National Fire Arms Act.

Second, the creation of 2nd Amendment sanctuary counties does not protect businesses or citizens. This is a feel-good form of activism. There is nothing in any of these petitions that grants immunity to any of the signers. In essence, this is protest without action. You showed up said you were upset, but didn’t do anything to affect real change.

Lastly, the consequences for not following any legislation passed in Richmond would fall squarely on the shoulders of local elected officials. None of the signers of these petitions would be forced to make the decisions or face the consequences elected officials, Commonwealth Attorneys and/or Sheriffs would face.

Hypothetically speaking, imagine a piece of legislation is passed in Richmond calling for the ban of semiautomatic weapons in the Commonwealth of Virginia. Who honestly believes our political class would risk their livelihoods, pensions and/or freedom to oppose any law deemed Constitutional?

The next time you see your elected representative, sheriff or commonwealth attorney ask yourself: would this person risk their mortgage or go to jail for my right to bear arms?

The majority of candidates in local races run for office without declaring their political affiliations. We’re supposed to believe politicians too politically calculating (or afraid) to tell us their political beliefs would stand in the gap for us with something more important than their next election on the line?

I’m glad to see so many people engaging in the public square. I believe in protest. Successful protests have broken the back of some of the most egregious evils in our country’s history. However, every protest that’s ever bore fruit required sacrifice. Signing a petition without any practical or actionable plan isn’t sacrifice.   

I wish more of you were concerned about Constitutional Rights when the 4th Amendment Rights of your fellow citizens were being trampled by stop-and-frisk policies. I empathize with the distrust many of you now feel towards government and law enforcement. I stand in solidarity with you, but this isn’t the way.

How Should We Think About Impeachment?

Impeachment hearings are here whether we want them or not. The next few weeks, like all of the weeks before them, will be full of misinformation and half truths. 

There will be concerted efforts made by politicians and members of the media/entertainment complex to smear and attack people: most of whom none of us have ever heard of.

Some of you will feel a knee jerk reaction to defend politicians and/or public figures you identify with. This is a natural instinct; I'm not asking anyone to transcend their humanity. I'm asking each and everyone to use their commonsense. Think about all of this in a clear and simplified way.

Ask yourself: 

1. Who has more motivation to tell the truth: someone under oath- who potentially faces perjury or someone outside of the legal scope of this investigation- who doesn't face any consequences for their words?

2. Why would so many career civil servants risk their pensions and their family's economic future to come forward?

3. Would you feel differently about any of the sworn statements or testimony if it were given about a politician you didn't identify with?

4. What do all of the investigations, guilty pleas, and convictions say about this White House?

5. Who benefits from the way you feel?

There will be people trying to convince you not to believe what you are hearing and seeing. There will be people ascribing the most insidious motives to their fellow citizens. There will be people, with a history of lying, trying to convince you they are telling the truth. There will be people trying to convince you that loyalty to ideology and political affiliation are more important than loyalty to the principles of truth and justice.

Donald Trump's innocence and guilt has already been decided by a majority of the country. There are people on both sides of the aisle who won't be swayed by any evidence that challenges their beliefs. We know this, but it shouldn't stop us from thinking critically about this process.

The next few weeks will be a test of our collective integrity. We will either call a thing by its name or we will twist ourselves into knots to avoid speaking the truth. We will invest our intellectual horsepower into substantive dialogue or we will chase every distraction waved in front of us. We make this choice as individuals and collectively.

Our judgement won't come from our peers in this moment, but from the progeny we bequeath this country to. This thought should dictate how we move forward. 

I Apologize For My Role In Ruining Social Media

Facebook was my gateway drug into the world of social media. I opened my account on November 16, 2011. I was surrounded by family and friends who worked as Sherpas guiding me through the nuisances of Facebook etiquette.

1) Don't post about politics. 

2) Don't post about religion: unless you are posting about how awesome Jesus is. 

3) Don't post about racism. 

I was advised to avoid posting about anything other than cats, babies, and food. I was so eager to get reacquainted with my old friends that I indiscriminately started sending and accepting friend requests. Within a few days I had over 500 "friends". This was awesome! What I didn't account for was how much some of us had changed over the years. After a while it was obvious some of our lives were in completely different places. Life happened and we had different priorities. 

The overwhelming majority of my “friends” wanted Facebook to be a place where they could escape from the day to day grind of life. I didn’t know social media was supposed to be fun, and when I found out I didn’t care. All of this was happening so fast. 

I turned Facebook into my public diary and started journaling. It was cathartic! I wrote what I thought and didn’t care about the consequences. There were days I felt incredibly blessed to have a second chance at life; on those days, I wrote about my feelings. 

There were days when the world seemed like a flaming bag of crapsicles; on those days I wrote. I didn’t shy away from controversial issues. I was indifferent to the agreed upon rules that governed social media. This was seen, by some, as aggressive behavior. I lost a lot of those early "friends" as quickly as I found them.

We are encouraged to avoid “controversy”. Because of this we often ignore bigotry, hatred, and incivility. Too many of us believe society's ills can be fixed by ignoring them. There are people who believe their right to bliss shouldn’t be impeded by the raw nature of our world. They are wrong! They have every right to ingest or avoid any information they choose, but they don’t have a right to another’s silence. 

I don’t apologize for the (small) role I’ve played in ruining social media. I don’t apologize for writing about race, religion, class, culture, or politics. I don't apologize for my truth being abrasive against the skin of those who choose to avoid the issues I write about. 

However, I do apologize for not giving people the benefit of the doubt. I apologize for not allowing people the time and space to process ideas they maybe haven't thought about. I apologize for not showing Grace. I apologize for automatically assuming the worst. If we hadn’t avoided talking about these issues for so long we might understand each other and how they affect us better.

You Deserve More

Hey you! Yes you. Give me a minute of your time. Are you still here? Listen: you deserve happiness. 

No one has the right to mistreat you. You don't have accept scorn or ridicule. You are not a doormat. You don't have to tolerate abusive behavior. Thanks for attending my Tedtalk!

Too often comfort causes us to accept treatment we know we shouldn't tolerate. We are convinced that our current situation is better than venturing into the unknown. This happens all the time in personal and professional relationships. All of us have stayed somewhere or with someone too long. Change is scary, but we don't have to let fear have the last word.

It takes courage to step into a new season. They call it a leap of faith for a reason. We are allowed to change the way we think about the future. Instead of finding reasons to fail, why not embrace change and chase destiny? 

You might fail. But in the words of Sameul Beckett, "Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”

You Don't Owe Them Anything!

I don't know who needs to hear this, but: you don't have to spend your time and energy dealing with people who think ill of you. You don't have enough time or energy to change their mind.

It's okay not to be liked by everyone. Too many of us are so infatuated with the idea of being liked that we change who we are. This is a tragic mistake. It's better to be respected than liked. Cutting against the grain and standing on your principles is enough to make people hate you.

Face it: there are people who don't like you. There are people who don't want to see you grow or succeed. There are people who need you to struggle in order to feel good about themselves. There are people waiting for you to fail. Get. Over. It. Those problems belong to them.

You don't have to inherit anyone's mania. You don't have to engage. You ARE NOT responsible for their feelings; however, you ARE responsible for your happiness. Do yourself a favor and quit trying to be liked by everyone. Focus on you and risk failing while trying to reach your potential. You may surprise yourself!

When Will America Practice Forgiveness?

There are a lot of people celebrating Brandt Jean’s forgiveness of Amber Guyger. I don’t know Brandt Jean, so I won’t comment on his  faith or motivation. That’s his heart, his conscious and his brother. I wish him and the family all the best moving forward; however, this is a moment we can reflect on.

While some are basking in the glow of this amazing sign of grace and forgiveness ask yourself: how many innocent men, women and children would be alive if our “Christian” nation practiced this kind of forgiveness?

We execute Americans every year for the crime of murder. We dropped two atomic bombs because we couldn’t forgive. There are hundreds of thousands dead Iraqis and Afghans because we couldn’t forgive. When innocent Americans are killed we call for revenge. We have bombed countries for less than what Amber Guyger did. 

What if America responded to 9/11 like Brandt Jean responded to the murder of his brother? Think about all of the American and Allied Forces soldiers who lost limbs. Think about all of the soldiers who lost their lives. 18 years later we are still sending troops into those countries. Why don’t we practice more forgiveness when it comes to jurisprudence and international affairs?

How much PTSD could we have prevented? How many suicides could we have prevented? When was the last time our Christian nation showed such forgiveness? 

The tradition of forgiveness cultivated and nurtured inside the Black church has been a strength and a weakness. Grace shouldn’t be reduced to a quid pro quo, but what has all of this turning the other cheek gotten our communities? Black folks have been forgiving America for things she won’t even apologize for. This was a senseless tragedy. I hope we don’t allow this sign of undeserved love to be used as a form of absolution.

What Unplugging Did For Me!

https://thoughtwrestler.tumblr.com/post/188014893861/what-unplugging-did-for-me

If Protesting Racism is "Un-American" What is Not Supporting 911 First Responders?

(Official House  of Representatives photo)

Rand Paul spent his day (July 17th) blocking an attempt by House Democrats to pass an extension of the September 11th Victim Compensation Fund. He cited concerns over the Trump administration's massive deficits as reason to stifle the bipartisan bill which had already passed the Senate.

This is the same Rand Paul who voted for a trillion dollar tax cut and hasn't said a mumbling word about the 100+ million dollars spent on golfing and personal family trips by the current occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Funding for first responders is where his "fiscally conservative" principles showed up.

This brings me to my larger point: Never Forget is, and has always been, an empty signifier. It's like saying America was founded on Christian values while ignoring all of the hatred, bigotry, violence and death wedded to her.

The fact that Jon Stewart has been a bigger advocate for 911 first responders than a majority of our elected officials is an indictment on those myths some of our fellow citizens believe about the purity of our nation.

If Americans stopped listening to what politicians said and actually looked at their voting records, half the country wouldn't believe the Republican party is the party of God or the rightful heirs to the American empire.

Here's a question for folks sensitive to any critique of America: is opposition to funding healthcare for 911 first responders more disrespectful than protesting racism?

When we protest racism, police brutality and discrimination in our country all we are saying is enough is enough. We will no longer tolerate second class citizenship in a country that is as much ours as it is yours. What is Rand Paul saying when he doesn't support New York City Police Officers and Firefighters?

Five Questions For People "Offended" By Protest Movements

There are people committed to avoiding honest discussions about any topic that challenges their worldview. This fact intersects the Venn Diagram of "socially unacceptable" conversations. 

Some of this reluctance is steeped in a sincere desire to avoid controversy, but some of this is more malevolent. There are people committed to hijacking any conversation that makes them feel uncomfortable. 

Too often people understand their defense of an untenable status quo as patriotism, while simultaneously condemning people who are actually fighting for equality. This is the exact same pushback abolitionist faced. I have five sincere questions for people caught in this paradox.

Are you willfully confusing protest movements against police brutality and discrimination with being anti military?

What is it about the legacy of racism in America that makes you uncomfortable?

What does your refusal and/or inability to get outside of yourself and view this country through the eyes of someone who hasn't had the traditional "American experience" say about you?

What are you actively doing to change the ways race and racism affect your fellow Americans?

Do you really believe that if marginalized communities stopped telling their stories  about discrimination and bigotry racism would disappear?

God Of What?

https://thoughtwrestler.tumblr.com/post/186070257631/was-any-of-this-sanctioned-by-god

Falwell Jr., Sexual Deviance and Why Christians Should Worry About Their Own Bedrooms

Photo courtesy of CSNBC

"In 2013, the Falwells completed the deal for the Miami Hostel, which rents beds for as little as $15 a night, bunking 12 people to a room. The hostel became known as one of South Beach’s best budget party hostels and is sometimes listed as gay-friendly."

Frances Robles

Under normal circumstances I wouldn't care that Jerry Falwell Jr. has invested money in properties that make money from sex and alcohol. I normally wouldn't care that his wife, allegedly, enjoys younger men and exhibitionism. I normally wouldn't care that Michael Cohen, allegedly, purchased those photos to keep them from leaking.

If Jerry kept practicing law and stayed out of everyone's life with his sophomoric ideology and faux religious convictions none of this would be an issue, but Jerry, like many pseudo-saints before him, lives two different lives. He is the heir to a Moral Majority that excels in castigating others for publicly engaging in behaviors they enjoy privately.

I think Falwell Jr. is a blowhard and a hypocrite. As much as I'm enjoying watching another "real Christian" deal with the consequences of their duplicity, part of me hopes the sexually explicit pictures of his wife are never published. There are enough people willfully sharing their naked bodies without seeing his wife and the "pool boy". I don't care what kind of threesomes or foursomes they were having. They deserve the respect they have often refused to give other people.

“There’s a bunch of photographs, personal photographs, that somehow the guy ended up getting — whether it was off of Jerry’s phone or somehow maybe it got AirDropped or whatever the hell the whole thing was,” 

Michael Cohen 

There are two kinds in this world: them that do and them that do. I'm more comfortable around confessed sinners than holier than thou deviants. The worst theologies are those rooted in denying the flesh. It's been my experience that behind every "Fire and Brimstone" spiritual leader is a closet full of fetishes and secrets capable of destroying the "perfect" image they portray.

It would be refreshing if Falwell's sexual scandal led to more Christians worrying about their own sexual proclivities than those of other people. Tell the truth: how many of y'all think any of these beacons of morality could survive a quick browser history check?

Ben Shapiro Met A Real Journalist: Meltdown Ensued

“This whole thing is a waste of time. Frankly, I don’t care — I don’t frankly give a damn what you think of me since I’ve never heard of you... I think we’re done here.”

When I saw Ben Shapiro trending on Twitter my imagination started running wild. Did he have another college visit canceled? Did someone expose plagiarism in his latest book? Was he subpoenaed to testify by the House Judiciary Committee?

My mind raced from one morbid conclusion to another. What happened that set social media on fire?

Instead of being a good husband and enjoying a peaceful Friday, I watched this video and started writing. OMG! This could have been a masterclass in contrarian journalism. His BBC interview with Conservative Journalist Andrew Neil was better than anything I could have imagined.

Shapiro knew he was in trouble when his arrogant and condescending brand of deflecting from tough questions didn't work. His career was built on his ability to dictate the terms of debate. His bait and switch style of avoiding tough questions is predicated on creating some ridiculous ad hominem fallacy and forcing his protagonist to defend an indefensible position they likely don't hold. Andrew Neil didn't take the bait.

What happened to Ben Shapiro is what happens to pseudo-intellectuals who are forced to defend their elementary arguments at the grownups table. He thought this interview would be a great chance to hock his book across the pond. He was wrong. His narcissism and immaturity is all anyone is talking about.

I've watched this interview twice. This was a perfect opportunity for Shapiro to cement his status as an intellectual leader of the modern conservative movement. He failed. He failed because he's spent too much time in the echo chamber. No one benefits from avoiding challenges to their ideology and worldview. Years of debating stoned undergrads and having his beliefs confirmed by Fox news pundits have caused him to believe the voices in his head telling him he's a genius. 

Ben Shapiro, Glenn Beck, Dan Bongino and Sean Hannity are intellectuals for people who don't read. The fact that serious conservative voices have been replaced by this group of lightweights hurts the country. Public policy is being driven by people who don't have a fundamental understanding of history, governance, our problems or how to fix them. This is every bit as sad as it is funny.

Aubrey Huff, Trash Takes and Why Social Justice Warrior Isn't an Insult

"I miss the days when #athletes entertained us with the athletic ability, and didn’t bore us with their political opinions! I know the American 🇺🇸 sports fans will greatly appreciate it! Please @MLB @NHL @NBA @NFL @espn leave politics out of sports!"

Former Major League Baseball player Aubrey Huff represents the views of 90% of the people I encounter on a daily basis. This point of view isn't inherently trash.

When I watch a game, I want the announcers to offer commentary based on the possible strategies that could be employed and any locker room, or behind the scenes, drama that could affect the game play.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to use sports to escape the pressures of life. All of us need down time, but this point of view becomes problematic when it seeks to silence reasonable criticisms and commentary about issues that affect everyday people.

Athletes, like anyone in the public eye, are often asked questions about topics outside of their professional purview. This is normal. Athletes are allowed to have opinions. Athletes, like everyone else in our society, are entitled to their own opinions.

The Aubrey Huff's of the world will always place their comfort ahead of the suffering of others. Being an athlete doesn't insulate a person from racism, nor does it mean they have to ignore it.

Using celebrity to magnify a cause has and always will be an effective way of getting people to pay attention to the suffering of disadvantaged people. One doesn't have to be overtly oppressed to have empathy for people who are.

Comparing the last two president's politics is folly. Athletes of color aren't protesting Donald Trump because of tax policy. They have seen his disdain for anyone who isn't white and refuse to legitimize his bigotry. Ignoring the president's words and actions are a luxury people of color don't have.

Talking about this is exhausting. It shouldn't be this hard to get decent people to recognize the constant dehumanization people of color have faced at the hands of this administration. 

Being Labeled a "social justice warrior" isn't an insult; it's a badge of honor. Fighting for equality is serious business. People have lost friendships, money, their freedom and their lives standing up for the dignity of others. We are allowed to disagree about politics, but we should all agree that people have a right to stand on their principles. 

You Can’t Spam Your Way To Success!

Image: The Center for Client Retention 

Have you ever been in that awkward social media position where you are being tagged in every post a friend makes? They turned their Facebook, Twitter and Instagram into the most annoying advertising campaign ever. They’ve convinced themselves that the first 100 times you ignored their posts were due to some circumstance beyond your control, and if they keep adding you eventually you will click the link or donate. This constant spamming is actually alienating the people who are most likely to support them.

Here’s the hard truth: You can’t spam your way into support. Social media can be cruel to anyone trying to find their customer base, but especially content producers. I understand the mentality: you have a list of contacts, who have contacts, who could help you create a ripple effect through your social media feeds. This compound interest of people could give you a solid launch into your business endeavor, but this only works if you deliver a product people feel compelled to share. Telling people you have a product and showing them your product are two different things.

It’s a double edge sword for content producers: you have to give a certain amount of your product away in order to build your clientele. People aren’t going to buy content if they don’t know what they are getting. People want to know what your brand is.

Everyday people swipe past hundreds of free articles and videos produced by academics, experts in their respective fields and seasoned journalists; why should someone pay for your time? What have you given them? How can they benefit from their investment in you?

There is an audience for all kinds of content, but you will never connect with them without first letting them know what you have to offer. Social media advertising campaigns have to be supported by underlying content. You need a place people can go to see what you produce. Telling people you have a product without giving them an example is wasting your time. You can’t spam your way to success. Constantly spamming people in your social network is more likely to alienate them than cause them to support your efforts.

Why Are You Hiding Your Testimony?

Some of the embarrassments and failures we buried in our past are constitutive parts of who we are. A lot of us are hiding the obstacles we had to overcome because of pride. It's not illegal to acknowledge the roll our mistakes played in making us who we are.

One of the most liberating things we can do is accept ourselves. This doesn't mean we don't work to overcome our limitations, but we have to accept every foible and idiosyncrasy that makes us unique. You are allowed to love yourself. 

Loving yourself is empowering. Self-esteem isn't gifted to us; it, like faith, is hard won. No one can give it to you, and no one can take it from you once you have it. Your trials and tribulations are proof that you are a conqueror. Why are you hiding your scars? Why are you hiding your testimony? Why are you denying yourself?

Too often we allow ourselves to be prisoners to the cult of perfection. You don't have to be perfect to stand with your shoulders back and head up. You don't have to wait for the world around you to affirm your dignity. If you love and accept yourself you can stand in a room full of people who don't like or respect you and be unfazed. Every mistake you've ever made can be something you draw strength from. Don't hide the things that make you possible.

What Are Our Priorities?

"What after all are these churches now if they are not the tombs and sepulchers of God?"

Friedrich Nietzsche

(Philippe Wang/Getty Images)

The Cathedral at Notre Dame should be rebuilt. As a preservationist and someone with a genuine interest in history its imperative that the architects tasked with this job make every effort possible to restore this Gothic monument to its former glory. This isn't controversial. There are iconic structures throughout the world that should be preserved for future generations. 

What's controversial about the billion plus dollars raised is how the restoration of an inanimate object has been more of a unifying factor than the suffering of flesh and blood people. This isn't an either or proposition. We can do both, but we should start with our neighbors. No society can call itself just while the people suffer. 

As we celebrate this Easter we should put the suffering of the very people Jesus died for at the top of our to do list. Too many offer lip service to the plight of poor people. We are ignoring and shunning the very people we should be helping. 

America's Response To Police Brutality In 26 Steps

1) Guy pulls gun on Black woman. 
2) She calls cops. 
3) Cops forcibly tackle HER and take HER to jail. 
4) Guy who pulled gun is not detained. 
5) Black people get upset.
6) White people get mad because we are upset.
7) They say, "We need to see the whole video."
8) They say, "She should have just complied."
9) Police release body cam footage. 
10) Footage shows egregious abuse of power.
11) Cop placed on desk duty. 
12) They say, "Police work is hard."
13) They say, "Sure, there are some bad apples."
14) We say, "BLACK LIVES MATTER!"
15) They say, "All lives matter."
16) We say, "Yes, but clearly our lives matter less."
17) They say, "You are a hater. Why do hate so much?"
18) We say, "How is loving ourselves hateful?"
19) They say, "You are dividing the country."
20) We say, "like Black Codes and segregation?"
21) They say, "We were immigrants."
22) They say, "Our family didn't own slaves."
23) The conversation is no longer about the incident. 
24) We get mad, disappointed and then sad.
25) Systematic dehumanization goes unchecked.
26) Another brutality video goes viral: restart at step 5.

Was It Really Gayle's Fault?

I've avoided a lot of the social media conversations surrounding the R. Kelly interview. This has been difficult: I've never had a problem using my 2 cents to make it rain. With that said, at what point in the interview did Gayle King become responsible for the answers he gave? When did his tone and temperament become her responsibility?

Full disclosure: I think R. Kelly is a pedophile. I wouldn't let him near anyone in my family. He's a pedophile and comparing his brand of pedophilia to the pedophilia practiced by Woody Allen or Elvis Presley does nothing for the victims of their crimes. I understand the racial component of this story. Hollywood has protected prominent white and Jewish pedophiles for too long. There is hypocrisy at work, but that hypocrisy doesn't negate the fact that R. Kelly went on national television and had a complete meltdown.

Let's say you were accused of a heinous crime. Let's also say you were given an opportunity to go on national television and give your side of the story. Who would be responsible for you accepting the interview? Who would be responsible for making sure you had legal counsel by your side? Who would be responsible for the way you comported yourself during the interview?

I'm troubled that so many of the people "Monday Morning Quarterbacking" this interview found more fault with Gayle King than R. Kelly. Gayle did what any journalist would do: she went out and got the interview. She asked questions specific to the subject at hand. R. Kelly could have said no. He didn't have to go on television. He didn't have to make the spectacle he did. If he went on CBS and made a compelling case for his innocence the news cycle would have gone on without him. This blew up because he blew up.

There are a lot of the R. Kelly supporters who refuse to accept the fact that he created all of the problems he's facing. If he's innocent he will be given a chance to prove it. If he's guilty he will serve his time. Pinning this debacle on Gayle King does nothing constructive. There has been a collective blind eye turned to protect some of America's most beloved pedophiles, but Gayle King isn't responsible for this reality. She wasn't responsible for the sideshow that took place during her interview. She didn't create any of this and yet she's faced more heat from Black America than the man at the center of the story. We shouldn't be so quick to kick someone when they are down, but we shouldn't reflexively defend Blackness to the detriment of other Black people.

The Top Three Reasons I Didn't Write About Paul Manafort's Sentence

The irony of me writing about why I'm not writing about this isn't lost on me, but here  goes.

1) My own personal experiences with our two tiered justice system has rendered me incapable of responsibly writing about this lenient sentence without using profanity: I don't use profanity in my writing; unless, I'm quoting someone and it's imperative to providing full context.

2) I'm not in the mood to educate folks who willfully ignore or defend the racial and socioeconomic discrepancies woven into our legal system: that time is always better spent helping people who are sincerely intrested in researching the data and information for themselves.

3) I'm tired of the "illogical fallacies" and "whataboutisms" that doom serious discussions about illegitimate systems of power: these social media "debates" are exercises in futility and tribalism; facts, like the truth, is no longer part of public discourse.

* Honorable Mention 

Y'all already knew how I would feel about it. 

Your Blog Is Valuable!

There's more to blogging than writing. For every blogger capable of seamlessly weaving together succinct ideas at blazing speeds there are hundreds, if not thousands, slowly throwing words at a screen hoping they stick. Both groups are part of the same historical, social and cultural epoch. Our blogs, no matter how silly or serious, have the potential to be part of a larger canon. Our words confirm or refute the dominant narratives about the events defining our present and shaping the future. This is valuable. Historians and sociologist of the past would have loved to have access to all of the information we produce.

Blogging isn't about who writes the best sentences or has the biggest audience. We are conquerors. We colonized territories once dominated by traditional media, think tanks and academia. We are a snapshot into a moment; we are the reflection of our audience. Our true value isn't measured in dollars and clicks, but in perseverance and authenticity. 

Our blogs form a block of information previously unavailable. So much of the history we learned as children was shaped by people who had access to wealth and power. This doesn't necessarily mean their motives were bad, but events are perceived differently depending on circumstances. There are so many instances where the voiceless were rendered invisible by the people who thought they were telling their story. How many of the books written about America’s move from an agrarian based economy to a manufacturing based economy do you think were written by farmers needing to learn industrial skills?

If you are a blogger, THANKS! Producing content can be difficult. Blogging requires more time and energy than most of us have. This can be a thankless and fruitless endeavor. Please keep honing your craft. Every blog has value: even if you are struggling to find the value in your own work.

If you are thinking about starting a blog, stop thinking and start blogging. Don’t worry about picking the perfect platform, templates or themes: all of those details will work themselves out over time. Don’t obsess over sentence structure or grammar: those details will also work themselves out. If you have something to say: say it. Presentation is important, but not as important as content. Your audience is waiting on you.

When Did God Forsake Us?

Throughout the course of my life I've heard Christians, especially Evangelicals, argue that God has removed the blessings and covering from America we took for granted. They say all of the violence, addiction, death and destruction we are seeing is a result of losing favor with God. Let's say, for the sake of agreement, that's all true. Where was God during the genocide of this continent's original inhabitants, chattel slavery, Black codes, Jim Crow, misogynistic treatment of women and segregation?

Did God sanction those atrocities? Did a loving God turn a blind eye to the undeserved suffering of those people? Did God bless and cover those responsible for the crimes against their humanity?

When did God turn his back on America? What was the final straw? I have questions.

These aren't questions about Theodicy, bad things happen to good people all the time and we are left wondering why God allows the innocent to be victimized. These are questions about a nationalist ideology that ignores history and prioritizes the culture wars. Too many Christians refuse to address these kinds of questions. Did God bless the dehumanizing and barbaric behavior that was a fundamental part of the formation of this nation?

Something I wish I understood in My Teens

NO ONE IS OBLIGATED TO HELP YOU SUCCEED!

Duh! This should be obvious, but the truth is: a lot of us figure this out too late. We live in a society that applauds every effort and accomplishment of children, but at some point the cheering stops. The overwhelming majority of our lives are lived without people on the sidelines rooting us on. That's fine as long as we remember to cheer for ourselves.

We are the only ones responsible for setting and accomplishing our goals. All of us have had doors open and close right in front of us. Some of those doors closed because we were too afraid to walk through them. It's up to us to find the confidence necessary to meet our potential. It's better to fail miserably at something outside of your comfort zone than to live the rest of your life looking back and wondering what if.

This advice is cliche, but it rings true. Find yourself! Accept yourself! Love yourself! Believe in yourself! Keep pushing! Fail trying! Never fail the same way twice! Die living!

Your successes all start with a healthy relationship with yourself. Keep Grinding!

Writing is Life!

I write over two hundred thousand words a year. This number doesn't include texts, Facebook posts or work related emails. Words are my life. I read them. I study them. I work to understand them. I pick my words very carefully.

One of the hardest things about writing is knowing my words can be misunderstood or willfully distorted. With that said, I will never stop writing. I will never stop advocating for the people and causes I believe in. Being popular is a distant second to being free. Too many of us avoid "controversial" subjects because being "liked" is more important than being honest. I'm not that guy. I would rather a person not like me for who I am than "like" me for who they think I am.

For the record: just because I disagree with you about something doesn't mean I dislike you- unless our disagreement is about the oppression and dehumanization of people. We can disagree about complex issues with dignity. I never use profanity to back my arguments, and I avoid ad hominem attacks. Anyone is welcome to agree or disagree.

If my words cause you distress please unfollow; no hard feelings. We are allowed to ignore each other. If you have been part of this from the beginning: respect. I appreciate your support. You helped make it possible for me to have many of the opportunities I have. Those of you who've invested their time and patience in me have helped me gain access to platforms that put my words in front of thousands of readers a week. I'm not on social media for cat pictures and gossip. This is part of my grind. If you rock with me, cool; If not, cool. I promise you my heart will stop beating before I stop writing.

Governor Northam: Exhibit (A) In The Case Against Politicians

Rudolph Cardwell Sr., Perlista Henry, Ralph Northam, Linda Cardwell, Danny Cardwell 

Ralph has to go! There's no way he can continue as the Governor of Virginia. This is a painful sentence to write, but a necessary one. I've covered the Governor at a debate, a ribbon cutting, and a few other small events. I've met him a handful of times. I sincerely thought he was the real deal. He came off as a kind and caring person, but he has to resign. I was fooled. We all were fooled. He. Has. To. Go.

If Governor Northam turned over a new leaf and changed his "past" racist ways he did a horrible job of trying to convince us. His press conference was painful. He either doesn't get the outrage behind his past actions or doesn't care. His apology was almost as disappointing as his yearbook photo and past fascination with Blackface. He acted as if he found out Friday this picture existed. He expected us to believe that a 25 year old intelligent medical student didn't have the intellectual horsepower to know how offensive those images have always been. He. Has. To.Go.

Governor Northam is the kind of politician older Black activist have been warning me about. He's the kind of politician I've been writing about since I started participating in politics. He's the kind of white politician who shows up in Black churches singing hymns and talking about how bad racism is. He's the kind of Democratic politician who understands how important the Black vote is and will say anything to get it. He's the kind of politician who makes communities of color distrustful of election year shenanigans. His presences in the Governor's mansion is a slap in the face to voters of color who have been taken for granted by the very politicians they entrusted with their support. He. Has. To. Go.

This has been a disastrous week for the governor. He started out having his words willfully distorted concerning Delegate Kathy Tran's abortion bill, and now he is facing calls for his resignation by many of the Virginia (and national) politicians who helped him ascend to the office of Lieutenant Governor and ultimately Governor. I'm sure he wishes he could return to the good ole days where the most controversial issue he had to deal with was the amount of money he has taken from Dominion Energy and his tacit support of the Atlantic Coast Pipeline. He has to resign before Virginia Democrats are forced to impeach him. The only noble thing left for him to do in Virginia politics is save us from the media circus that would follow impeachment proceedings. He. Has. To. Go.

   

When Satire Exposes Hate

Nancy Pelosi is one of the few politicians who can say they have favorability, likeability, and approval ratings comparable to the president. According to a Monmouth University poll, Nancy Pelosi’s approval rating doubled after the government shutdown. The poll found that 34 percent of voters thought she was doing a good job— twice as high as the same poll found in November of 2018, when her approval rating was 17 percent. She doubled her approval rating and was still 16 points below 50%. There are legitimate reasons to like or dislike Nancy Pelosi, but more times than not people base their reasoning on the caricature of Nancy Pelosi.

About a week ago I was scrolling through Facebook when I saw that one of my friends shared an article from "BEBEST.WEBSITE". I wasn't familiar with the website, so I was hesitant to click the link. I was going to settle for just reading the comments. Let! Me! Tell! You! They didn't disappoint. These people formed some very strong opinions about an article they either didn't read or understand. After reading the 20 or so comments I had to read the piece that inspired such hatred. 

The article opened as follows:

As the new Congress prepares to take control tomorrow, presumptive Speaker Nancy Pelosi issued a final legislative offer to President Trump this morning : the border wall will be funded and built – in exchange for passing a bill banning the ownership and use of all firearms in the United States by private citizens. Pelosi’s edict sent shockwaves through Washington.

Pelosi noted that Fema and U.N. troops, already mobile from Operation Jade Helm, are ready to begin house-by-house confiscation, and sites in the Nevada desert and Utah plains have been readied for mass weapon meltdowns and burials. Liberal gun legislation activists like David Hogg and Taylor Swift have expressed overwhelming support for the ban.

I don't know how anyone could read the first two paragraphs of this piece and think it was serious, but there are people who did. Sadly, this is happening about issues of great importance. Critical thinking and literacy are more important now than ever. A former teacher once told me she spent the first 10 years of her career teaching her students how to find information and the last 23 years teaching them how to wade through the information overload. I'm amazed at how often people will chime in on conversations they know absolutely nothing about. We are allowed to research a topic before commenting on it. 

Facts aren't politically motivated. Facts are the cornerstone of truth. The constant attacks on the institutions of higher learning and the media have convinced a generation of people to be distrustful of any information that challenges their worldview. This will continue to hurt real people as long as terms like "liberal media", "intellectual" and "fake News" permeate the right-wing lexicon. I use to think a lot of Donald Trump's people were ignoring his daily lying, but now I'm certain many of them just don't know the difference.

Here are some of the better comments. Even though they were made publicly, I redacted all of the identities except mine: I don't think it's fair to embarrass their family members. Also, I apologize for the language used: these are "good God-fearing Christian Conservatives", but something about Nancy Pelosi causes them to forget their upbringing. 

 

 

What We Ignore About Senseless Violence

Zephen Allen Xaver, 21, was charged with five counts of first-degree murder after allegedly killing five women in a Sebring, Fla., SunTrust bank.

Courtesy of Highlands County Sheriff's Office

America is a violent country. We are the descendants of a violent people who committed genocide against this land's original inhabitants, we based our early agrarian economy on the violent enslavement of Africans, we fought a violent revolution to separate ourselves from the British Empire, we fought a number of violent wars to maintain and grow "our" country, we fought one of the bloodiest and most violent wars in history of the world amongst ourselves. Violence is embedded in our genetic code.

Every generation has had a "great" war. Every generation has taught the next generation the virtues of violence. We have fought wars for land, strategic resources and to protect our position as the global hegemon. Every generation has benefited from this violence: especially those who pretend like our violence was/is for noble reasons. Our problem isn't violence; Americans don't like violence that doesn't make our lives easier. 

Zephen Allen Xaver is the latest product of our violent culture. I know I'm supposed to feel sympathy for him. He's not like those violent "thugs" ruining our cities. He's not like those violent Muslims waging Jihad. He's not like those violent Mexicans coming to take our jobs. No, he's a real American, so we must try to understand where his violence comes from. America has to make sense of the senseless. 

By the time investigative reporters track down his friends and family he will be another "lone wolf" with mental health issues. There will be people working overtime to make sure he doesn't reflect poorly on the rest of real America. Zephen's actions had to happen in a vacuum.

He, like the other real American mass shooters before him, is a victim of society. Not a victim of the violence that is a constitutive part of the American ethos, but a victim all the same. He was ignored, rejected or made to feel less than. In other words, his real "Americanism" didn't afford him what he thought it should have so he lashed out. Real Americans spend a disproportionate amount of time worrying about everyone else while Billy, Timmy, and in this case, Zephen are locking and loading. Five people lost their lives and the response has been muted. I have a hunch real Americans would be responding differently if this crime was committed by an immigrant or Muslim.